Driving Miss Jodi...

I want to buy an erasable memo board and keep it in my car.

Yesterday, I was the 2nd car at a stoplight. I had my hands on the wheel, and without even realizing it, my hands pressed the wheel a little too much and the horn went off. Coincidentally, the light had JUST turned green. I felt so bad. I saw the eyes of the driver in front of me in his rearview mirror and I tried my best to give him the "I'm sorry, it was an accident" look, but I don't think it came across too well. His hands went up in the "Relax, I'm going" gesture.

I was once behind a truck who was blocking the right-turn only lane. He was at a stoplight and couldn't move, so I waited. I heard a car horn behind me, and then the truck moved a bit so we were able to inch closer into the lane. As I passed him, he yelled out, "Bitch," and I instantly wanted to yell back that it wasn't me who beeped at him. I don't know why those things bug me, or give the need to defend myself, but they do. I don't want anyone to think I'm rude. I like to be liked and respected on the road.

I was cut off by a Hummer this morning. I was on the main road, and he pulled out from a side street without even stopping. I hate Hummers. Hummers remind me of Arnold Swarzenegger. He was on Jay Leno last year and he told Leno that Maria had given him one for his birthday. I don't know why the interview stuck with me, but everytime I see a Hummer, my Austrian accent comes out of nowhere and I call it a "Hummah," just like he does.

Last year, October actually, many of the digital message boards that overlooked various highways throughout Massachusetts stopped showing the regular, "Please Drive Responsibly" and "Buckle Up For Safety" messages. For a few days, the messageboards read, "Go Sox!" Obviously innocent. Obviously in good fun, showing the Mass Highway Safety Bureau's support to the team that would soon break the dreaded curse. But a few people complained. "There's no need for it." "Pay attention to broadcasting the accidents, not editorializing sports headlines." Someone then wrote in that after reading the complaints, the messageboard should read, "Lighten up." The messageboard was changed to "Have a Nice Day."

So this is why I want that dry erasable memo board. Of course I'd be breaking a million traffic rules by having one since it would require other drivers to take their eyes off the road to read it, but it would make me feel better knowing that drivers know my intentions - that I really am sorry for whatever I did that I didn't mean to do (including beeping prematurely), that no, it wasn't me who beeped at them, that they really need to please get off my ass (my rear bumper), and finally and most importantly, that they should all have a nice day.