Pictures

I did something yesterday that almost pushed me to the verge of tears. I went through family photos.

My father is officially retired. His last day of work was technically Thursday, but since yesterday was the last day of the month, he would always say Sunday when you asked him when is his last day of work. "I'm on the payroll until Sunday and therefore, I will be working until Sunday." He had been looking forward to this day for over a year when the company dynamics changed. He was in sales, so he had built lasting relationships with his clients over the past 40 years. Then little by little some of his accounts were transferred to those younger than him, so that they could build the same longevity and trust that they had with my father. They had to have known that he was nearing the time, seeing as how so many of his colleagues who were with him from the beginning had thinned out and said their goodbyes as they headed to reserve their daily 8am tee times.

Over the past few months, his eagerness to retire turned into nerves. He wasn't ready to let go just yet. He never showed it. He would get excited over the retirement party his company is throwing him and his plans for what he wants to do next. Wake up early, relax, play golf, take walks, go to the beach, enjoy friends, eat, and sleep.That would be his daily routine. The past few weeks it hot him that it was soon going to be final. He listened to his voicemails over and over, knowing that those who depended on him and needed him wouldn't be leaving him messages anymore.

Ken and I took my parents out for dinner last night and the running comment came from dad who kept saying, "No need to rush, I don't have to get up early. I have nothing to do."

Hours before this dinner, I headed to my parents house to find pictures while they were out. They're moving in a week from today to Cape Cod and their house is a mess with boxes. Most of their furniture is gone, but not the memories. My brother and I decided to make a photo DVD - like a photo slideshow - and include music of our choice for them.

[Insert music to In My Life by The Beatles]

I thought they'd be packed and moved already. I thought I'd have to head to the Cape this week (Plan B) to find them there. But I thought I'd look anyway and sure enough, in the bureau they were always in, I found them. I grabbed the pictures I could find and ran out of the house, but not before doing a quick walkthrough to see the evolving emptiness that has become the house I grew up in.

When I got home, I dumped the envelopes on my couch and started to reminisce. The majority of the pictures were from trips they've taken without us. My father used to mention that those pictures he could do without since 5 years after those trips, he wouldn't even remember what they were standing next to or what country they were in. Which is why of course they were still in the house.

He already took with him the pictures that mattered.

Good thing there is a Plan B.