I went to bed mad last night. I know they say you shouldn't, that if there is one rule of marriage, it is not going to bed mad. But I did. I do.
Is the rule applied to everyone? If I am exhausted, the last thing I want to do is stay up and fight, because when I am that tired, I just get more and more annoyed. And the more we repeat ourselves, the less patience I have. Sleep on it, and in the morning, talk it through. That's my rule.
We also have other rules. Never go to bed or leave the house without a kiss. And no matter how mad we are, we never break that rule.
A couple last month from Germany celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. The secret to a happy marriage, the husband said, is to never go to bed angry. (He passed away last week at 105 years old.)
We have a wonderful marriage, and I couldn't ask for better... And if you ask me, I think going to bed mad once in a while isn't that bad.
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5 comments:
Good stuff - I agree. I think that forcing yourself to go to bed having talked things through is sometimes worse than getting some distance from the situation.
Most things look a little better after a good night's sleep.
*hugs*
I think your version of the rule is okay . . . I am one of those people who used to insist on the "don't go to bed mad" thing, but it never worked with my ex. He just got more and more upset and frustrated. I would end up hurt and upset and he would just want to stop talking about it (whatever it was), so things festered and swept under the proverbial carpet; nothing got resolved. I think as long as both people have the same conflict resolution style, it's fine--the problem is when one person needs to solve problems sooner and the other insists upon later. That was red flag #417
I go to bed mad all the time. I'm so mad that my husband's job get's to sleep with him more than I do.
That's one of the reasons that sleep was invented. So that you have a break away from the anger; the argument doesn't have to be talked out while you're still mad.
Take it from me - I've . . . never been married.
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